Feist

Well boi, I survived.

2010-02-20T00:28:00.005Z

This blog is done. To all of my pleading fans who missed me so much, I am sorry. I feel cringy when I think of 'feistlande'. It makes no sense and has no purpose. An English professor of mine said something about either living life or writing about it (can't remember wh relation to) and I guess there must be some truth in that.
I started this when I was sad and depressed for a couple of months: lonely with no ambition having dropped out of college for the first time and not really knowing what I wanted to do and not really caring either. The funny thing is, a whole load of stuff has happened and my universe has done three-sixties on several occasions in the last couple of months. Scary stuff that was much worse than the college situation last year. So I am by no means okay, and not overly happy, most certainly not knowledgeable of what I would like to do with myself anytime soon, but I am living life.
And I don't have time to write about it. Fare ye well. I'll keep reading about yours.

Some stuff...

2009-11-22T23:36:00.004Z

I like this girl.

We've had a spot of rain.

Cork is currently under water along with UCC. That meant lots of drinking on Thursday night, in the dark, in my friend's apartment, in a foot of water.

Also means I have a whole week off to spend in Galway to try and salvage the remains of my relationship. Do or die...now or never...make it or break it...
Phew.

My house sucks.

2009-10-28T00:44:00.002Z

Things that have gone wrong so far:

1. In the first two weeks we had no shower so I had to depend on flying visits to houses of friends to ward off bad smells.
2. The shower door fell off.
3. The roof in the kitchen started leaking.
4. We acquired a pet mouse named Romeo who likes to dodge mouse traps and eat galaxy chocolate.
5. I realised that my bedroom is by far the worst in the house even though I'm paying the same rent as everyone else. I'm right beside the sitting room and kitchen and hear EVERYTHING that goes on from dawn to dusk.
6. I also realised that some of my housemates are hmmm.. messy.
7. We got broadband installed and it works everywhere....apart from my desk.

On the plus side my French and appreciation of art history is coming on a treat. And it's Hallowe'en soon. That means Christmas. Which means relocation. Shweet.

I've also learned how to skateboard and juggle (not at the same time), the fundamentals of DJing, met some of my heroes from Ed Banger and had a lot of fun all the while.

Perhaps the lack of internet is doing me good.

Uffie finally got a video....

2009-10-03T19:04:00.002+01:00

....3 years later. Don't like it though.

Plus this.

Which is much more exciting. College is affecting my blogging.

2009-09-13T21:27:00.006+01:00

Doesn't matter if you don't like Jay-Z, watch it anyway.

Had yet another graduation ball thing on Friday with my friend from Cork city, which was pretty sweet because lots of the people that were there are doing the same course as me. Let's just hope they remember me when I latch onto them the first day of lectures.

Cork also has the best charity shops I've ever seen. Me and my remarkably stylish buddy G (she got stopped by Irish Street Style literally minutes after I left her that day) went for a root on Friday. I couldn't find many treasures that day but did find these three necklaces.

Much more fun to be had in Galway this week, plus a Dylan Moran gig on Sunday. Two words, LOVIN' LIFE. Ha.

Foreboding.

2009-09-08T19:28:00.007+01:00

My orientation day for college is on Friday and I'm absolutely terrified, I'm not the best in social situations you see. I get to a stage where fear of the inevitable awkward silence becomes too much and I just. Don't. Shut. Up.

A perfect example of this is last Saturday at a party where I knew a handful of people as acquaintances amongst an incredible amount of strangers. I learned a lot about conversation that night and for your convenience, I have compiled a short list of topics that generally aren't suitable for light conversation with strangers:

Number 1 - Private information about yourself that is best kept private until the person has become a proper friend. For example, "Oh yeah I love hanging out at the library, it's class in there, I'm pretty good friends with the librarian at this stage, we go drinking together."

Number 2 - Suicide. "Oh you go running in that park? Yeah, I lived across from that place, guy hung himself while I still lived there. Crazy huh?"

Number 3 - Pickled produce. "Ok...there's gherkins, pickled onions...what's the other one? What? Beetroot? No, not beetroot. My brother grew some beetroots this summer, they were massive! Eggs! That's it, pickled eggs!"

I'm screwed. I'm going to wind up as the girl with no friends in college who eats sandwiches by herself and is shunned in the lecture halls.
The fact that I have any friends in the first place is beyond me really.

Journey to Cork........

2009-09-06T16:50:00.002+01:00

...involved a lot of rain.

YSL

2009-08-31T19:42:00.004+01:00

YES

2009-08-31T18:57:00.004+01:00

Some nice people I took some photos of a while back.
Actually I lie, Boyfriend took the first three.
I'm getting the keys to my house tomorrow. It's been a long time coming, I can feel my brain turn to mush from the lack of stimulation, college will do me some good.
My dad and I are both ready for a break from each other too. Country living is beginning to grate, I long for a bustling metropolis.
The worst thing is the separation from Boyfriend. A whole three hours away, but not far enough for us to admit to a 'long-distance' relationship. My holidays will be spent in the charming student accommodation of NUI Galway and I can't wait.

2009-08-22T23:40:00.004+01:00

She's my namesake. I should probably just change this to AudreyLand because she's my favourite, and Feist is a stupid name and has nothing to do with me anyway.
Fuck it, identity is over, you can call me Audrey form now on, not even making it up, that's my name.

The American goes home tomorrow, we drink for her.

A.

After-thought.......... quite obviously a drunken post, probably too late to delete without embarrassment. Oh well!

Deserves a prize.

2009-08-20T23:38:00.004+01:00

Should have probably made her smile a bit though. That scowl is positively loathsome.

Currently...

2009-08-20T23:05:00.001+01:00

...feeling the effects of bad weather, a mini-drug bust amongst friends and their parents (nothing too serious mind you, just that one mother had a total conniption over nothing) and no proper job to indulge my consumer whims and indulgences.

Alas, there will be sunshine tomorrow. Along with a free house. And Boyfriend will be freed by his captives. Oh and I'll be babysitting a labrador puppy all day.

My goal is to feel as wonderful as she is. Tomorrow is gonna be a good day.

Oh hello there Mr. Sunshine...

2009-08-19T21:13:00.004+01:00

...where oh where have you been? I have grass to be lying in.

And friends to be hopping off to the beach with.

And happy films to end the day so I can have happy sleeps.

I can't do it without you. Please come back, I can't afford to go chasing you around the place and college starts soon you know.

- 3rd image is 'imperfectly perfect sunny day' by SANUBIAN, found on deviantart.com -

I've never wanted to smack six people so badly.

2009-08-18T08:52:00.003+01:00

Interesting program on the BBC last night called Blood, Sweat and Takeaways. Basically the BBC sent six British young people off to Indonesia and Thailand to work in the food industry that they regularly purchase from. The insight into the food industry there was undoubtedly excellent and worth a prime time broadcast, but the reasoning behind sending along six condescending brats escapes me, and the results were nothing less than cringe-worthy.

Here are Thai and Indonesian people, welcoming tourists and a camera crew into their home, then have those same tourists turn around to tell them how much they pity them and how they should be 'so proud' of what they're doing for their families. If someone came into my home and told me I was comendable for living in what they viewed as an appalling dump, there would be slaps all round.

Of course the working conditions, sex trade and pricing are unjust in these countries, and of course something needs to be done to help spur on the development of industry, agriculture and workers rights in these countries, but it isn't as if the same people working there have no pride. It was nothing less than insulting.

Here's a clip from last night's programme.

Not the best example of what I'm arguing about but still pisses me off.

Some choons throughout the whole thing though.

Poor Boyfriend broke himself.

2009-08-15T11:25:00.003+01:00

It was quite funny really, we were running for the bus with many a gin drunk. Two minutes to go and we had quite a distance before us until we reached the bus stop. I sprinted with grace and elegance while he lumbered along behind me when suddenly
whack
slap
crash
he thumped on to the ground face first after crumpling his ankle into a pot hole. Oh how I laughed. It's massive, and purple, hopefully not broken.

Alas, no more skating or surfing for 8 weeks, this may be detrimental to our relationship.

I don't if the three of you who read this know any surfers, but they are the biggest grumps in the world if they haven't surfed in more than two days.

*sigh*

I found something lovely today...

2009-08-08T21:31:00.007+01:00

...in a little shop in my town. A 1976, paperback, Puffin edition of Peter Pan. Such lovely illustrations.
Cheered me up no end.

Also there was a festival in my home city last weekend.

Just a lot of street acts and activities, it mainly being a family weekend.

This gentleman was a bit unsettling but was nice nonetheless. He serenaded us while we drank Buckfast in the square. I gave him the last of my bottle.

It's been a while...

2009-07-30T19:55:00.005+01:00

...since I last posted. My having a blog is kind of silly, the summer is becoming busier and also I'm finding it harder to be arsed to actually sit down and write stuff.
I much prefer googling pictures of Alison Mosshart and flicking back and forth to the I Love Techno website.

Man I can't wait. October seems like an awful long time away.

Does the Queen call herself 'My Majesty'?

2009-07-18T13:40:00.004+01:00

My boyfriend's grads ball is coming up. He repeated but never went to his first one so he decided to not be a dope this time and make his mother happy. I have a lovely dress and now need shoes, a bag and perhaps a hat or headpiece like this

or this

or this

I've been thinking about my own Debs night as a result of all this. It was all going according to plan for me up until five days before the night, when the aforementioned boyfriend decided to break up with me. I luckily had a good friend who acted as my back up date, but as I was so busy I never really even thought about the fact that I was now 'going through a break-up'. Consequently, my debs night was basically me in a full length Roland Mouret ball gown, pissed on gin, smoking and insulting people. The same 3,000 euro ball gown later fell apart on the dance floor, turning it into a see through mini-dress.
''It's supposed to be like that'' I slurred at my sober friends.
Thankfully I bought the dress for just 150 euro. It still hangs limp and sad in two pieces in my wardrobe as a reminder of what not to do on your Debs night.

To add to the humiliation, I woke up in my ex-boyfriend's house the next morning. Me and his sister had decided to have a sleepover for old time's sake apparently.

Ah the Debs. A great Irish institution. I'm incredibly glad I have a second chance.

O.J.

2009-07-12T12:58:00.003+01:00

Have you ever noticed that orange juice is yellow? And judging by that picture oranges aren't very orange either.
If you ask me that's sunshine yellow right there.
God damn fraudsters.
Either that, or the colour orange really did come after the fruit. As in the fruit wasn't called an orange because it's orange.

It's like the chicken and egg debate all over again.

I really wish I was at Oxegen.

I am a very happy girl today.

2009-07-09T15:51:00.006+01:00

I just attended the best gig I think I have ever attended in all of my young life. I was a bit confused before as to how a N.A.S.A. gig would actually work. To me they just seemed to be DJs or producers and not really responsible for a large part of what they do. How wrong I was. It was an amazingly solid set of remixes and beats that was so incredibly energetic. It was like 2manydjs but more hip-hop inclined. I don't think I've ever heard a remix of Killing in the Name of quite like the one I heard last night.

The Pavilion was the perfect venue too. There can't have been more than 100 people there last night, it felt so exclusive and so much like a secret gig.
So that was all well and good. All through the night however there were rumours of a certain guest making an appearance. Rumours which turned out to be so very true. The surge of the crowd when Kanye West and Kid Cudi came on stage was incredible. I can gladly say I was in the front row, and they were so much fun! They had these funny nerdy dances and West didn't come across as arrogant as I would have expected.

I really can't describe how good this gig was, for a tenner I saw three massive artists on one tiny stage, in one tiny room.
For some reason also, and I wouldn't blame you for not believing me, the bodyguard or PR guy or something took a liking to me as they let some fans up on stage for the final song (apparently N.A.S.A always do this?). In the end my new best friend Stanley let P and I stay on stage while the rest of the fans got booted off. Everytime a bouncer came over to shoo us away, he put his arm up in front of us saying 'It's alright man, they're cool, they're with me'.

We could barely contain our excitement and we were pretty sure we were going to be booted off for looking so obviously like we didn't belong there. Eventually however, they let us into the dressing room where Squeake Clean signed my poster for me. And can I also say he was dead on, he came across as exhausted but was so polite to us. We were also talking to his mother, Pollick, who went up on stage during the show for a bit of a shimmy and a shake.

Et voila;

...just covering my name in that last photo. Pretty cool though eh? It says '*****y!!! Thanks for the love and support!! Keep exploring space!!! Squeake Clean '

What a guy.

And now...I sleep.

NASA

2009-07-07T17:32:00.004+01:00

NASA are playing The Pavilion in Cork tomorrow night. The tickets cost all of ten euro from tickets.ie. Unbelievable, I know!

They're another good example of the many talented people out there who aren't famous enough. Makes me hate Paris Hilton even more.

In Memoriam...

2009-07-05T18:28:00.006+01:00

...of Fanta Claws. Some idiot mowed her down outside my house.

It's been a testing week. Along with this, an ongoing and messy relationship just got messier and to top it all off I failed an interview for a job I really wanted, plus the job I have at the moment is fucking me around.

Such is life. Things could be a lot worse, at least I still have all my limbs.

I sincerely hope I didn't just jinx myself.

Two ratty days followed by a not so ratty day.

2009-07-02T17:21:00.002+01:00

Job.

Our American went missing there yesterday, but thankfully she's been found again.
Was quite scary as she's in Italy at the moment, having arrived at midnight in Genoa the night before last. She had nowhere to go, no Italian and no information about the city. Before she got off the phone with my brother however, she decided to tell him that she, ya know, might just SLEEP ON THE BEACH if she couldn't find a hostel.
What a moron. Genoa. On the beach. Cute little American girl.
Honestly.

My poor brother had to live through yesterday not having a clue what the hell happened as her phone was switched off. It became clear yesterday how much he actually cares about her too. He said to me 'I have this weird, sick feeling in my stomach'. Says a lot really, that's the type of person he is, he couldn't identify his own anxiety.

Moral of the story - don't act like an idiot if you're fending for yourself in a foreign country.
She's getting slaps when I catch her.

Mean reds.

2009-06-30T22:06:00.002+01:00

Still don't know the cure. Evidently two new dresses and a pair of shoes don't help. Even if they are particularly lovely dresses and shoes.
I hope it's sunny tomorrow.

Girl Crush #2...

2009-06-29T16:04:00.003+01:00

....Karen O.
What a woman. I've been told we're similar in a strange way, me and Karen, but I'm not bragging...

It's been a long time coming...

2009-06-26T17:47:00.004+01:00

...and I think you know it too, Cheeseburger. I'll miss you, but I just can't do it anymore. I feel guilty and dirty everytime we're together.
I'm sick of you seducing me with you're cheesy deliciousness, I feel so pathetic everytime I give into you're greasy allure. And sure, I know that no summer day will ever be the same again without you, we'll probably bump into each other at barbeques but...
It's over, I'm sorry.

Blame Banksy.

My lovely American friend...

2009-06-23T00:06:00.002+01:00

...has left us on a ferry headed for France.

I'll miss her and her funny ways.

I'm loving Ireland in the meantime, I went for a swim in a lake near home after dinner with my brother and his funny friends. Life is so much better when the sun shines.

Ever had one of those moments.....

2009-06-21T18:41:00.002+01:00

...when you go back to a place you haven't been to in years and everything is so much smaller than you remembered? I had that today. Went for a spin to Woodstock in Inistioge, Co. Kilkenny and got the fright of my life. For those of you not familiar with Inistioge, Woodstock is this old historical house that was burnt down sometime during the War of Independence, however the gardens are still open to the public.
I always remembered this house as MASSIVE, but alas, it is not. I felt like Alice when she drinks the potion and grows up really quickly.

Lots of families and little kids were there having picnics and playing football on the croquet lawns, looked like fun.

I, however, had the joy of being dragged around by my nerd of a brother to look at each and every tree. Stupid arborists.
He whooped and congratulated himself everytime he correctly identified a tree, and was doubly pleased when he could remember the Latin name along with it. Dork.

''Oh my gosh, do you speak like, Austrian?''

2009-06-18T22:57:00.006+01:00

''Ehm no I don't I'm afraid, I see you're fluent in American though.''

Yes, this is what a young American man in a pub in Dingle asked me as I spoke to my new Austrian (or 'International' as he liked to be referred to) friend over the roar of the pub singer and heavy din of American twangs. Don't get me wrong I can understand how he could have been THAT drunk after the supposed seven *gasp* bottles of beer drunk in the space of two hours. They were some craic all the same, my American friends. Even though they were plain silly, you couldn't help but feel protective of them and enjoy their boyband cleanliness. They all had names like Billy and Nick and even though they were all the same age as me or older they had a real innocence and happiness about them that you couldn't help but be charmed by. I'm glad that I seem to be meeting a lot of Americans this summer, they're a likeable bunch.

My Austrian friend had the same disposition in a funny way, even though he was far from an American high school graduate. He upped and left home one day, had slept rough on London streets and was on a quest to become 'free'. Very independent you might think, but us three Irish girls still took him under our wing and brought him around with us for the two days we were sharing a room with him. He was odd I must admit, a typical European metal head. Long hair and chains poking out everywhere, but terribly sweet all the same and maybe just a little lost and lonely.

What else did I do in Dingle apart from laugh at foreigners? Oh nothing, just ya know, cycled around Slea Head. *cough* 40 km *cough* no big deal...

Dear Blogland...

2009-06-15T08:15:00.001+01:00

...going to Dingle. See ya Wednesday. I fed the cat.
Love, Feist xx

Alien Snots.

2009-06-13T14:45:00.006+01:00

The other day we brought the American off to this secret little beach, which can be found somewhere on the south coast should you ever care to visit.

The main aim being to catch some 'alien snots' as they are now fondly known in our household. Otherwise known as periwinkles. We also caught a 'juicer' of a crab. Those Americans and their funny speak. Pftt. She does take some good photos though, especially seeing as it was just a point-and-shooter...

Periwinkles are truly scrumptious by the way, billion times better than l'escargot.

Suckiest nightclubs in the land...

2009-06-12T04:13:00.003+01:00

..and not even a bit of talent to go with it.
The nightclubs of Ireland need to sort their lives out.

Number one, Mr. Nightclub Man, stop playing Akon, Girls Aloud et al.
Number two, stop charging ridiculous prices for a frickin jaegerbomb.
And number three, open the smoking area, it's all you've got left buddy.

Kudos for the invisible, U.V. visible stamps though. I marvel everytime.

FATM...

2009-06-12T03:34:00.002+01:00

...as a lovely person put it.

I know just about everyone is going on about Florence and the Machine, but it's 3.35 in the morining, and I cannot stop listening to this song.

Blake Lively nailed it.

2009-06-10T10:42:00.003+01:00

Not a sequined camel toe in sight.

Jeeaaaaalousssyyyy, turning saints into the sea...

2009-06-10T10:14:00.006+01:00

Yeah...I never did understand that line. Ace song though.
I am becoming increasingly jealous of the lovely American and her current situation in this world. No, not her button nose, ability to tell funny and interesting stories at the drop of a hat, nothing at all to do with spending lots of time with my beloved brother.

It's this stupid map she's been pouring over:

She is in a bit of a pickle as she'll be needing to decide how she's getting to Spain fairly sharpish. My fingers seem to be turning green as I type.

Alas, I've realised that envy will get me nowhere and so I've resolved to save instead of spending all my measly earnings on shoes, cigarettes and alcohol.
Surely it will all be worth it? Won't it?

The lovely people of the intertubes

2009-06-08T11:29:00.002+01:00

It's my very own claws that I posted a while back.
Many thanks to BigMentalDisease!

''Ooooh swish!''

2009-06-08T10:50:00.002+01:00

Love this, I have a thing for futuristic musings of old. The Jetsons is ace, as is the Smashing Pumpkins video for Tonight, Tonight. Why did they always think people would be just gagging to wear silver and have gadgets hanging off them from every angle? Just wonderful.

I hate working Saturday nights.

2009-06-06T19:29:00.003+01:00

But can I just say, don't be fooled by pictures like this....

...people who play slots are more like this....

...and I LOVE them for it.

Life's a Beach

2009-06-02T23:06:00.002+01:00

I am SO original when it comes to post titles, am I not?
But really, life is a beach, especially when once summer comes you spend your life... on the eh... beach. I've spent such a nice couple of days with my friends bustin ourselves around in the sea and slapping each other's nicely crispy arms. The cute American is loving it here too, she thinks it's nuts that people can drink on the street, rob election posters, gowl with the Gardai about the whole thing and still get away with it.

I wonder how long this freakish summer could actually last though?

Ah crap.

Did I just jinx it?

I pledge allegiance...

2009-05-29T00:00:00.005+01:00

...bla bla bla, to the United States of America....
Nicest surprise ever today. My brother's kind-of-but-we're-not-too-sure-what-the-story-is girlfriend has come to visit us, all the way from Chicago! She is the cutest thing in the world with her denim shorts and hiking boots, little button nose and blonde hair. She is the most easily likeable person I have ever met, I LOVE her. She's gone to bed now, after we all managed to get her and our fine selves just a leetle bit tipsy. I hate trying to wind down at this stage of the night with a couple of drinks in me so I decided to stay up and blog.
She's a gas woman with the funniest name that I really wish I could share with ye. It's unusual I'm sure, to find an American who really hates certain aspects from American culture. For instance, she got rather heated whilst showing us her passport. Basically, in the places where your visa stamps go on a normal passport, Condaleeza Rice brought in this fantastic idea to fill these pages with images that represent American culture, the bald eagle, Mount Rushmore, oxen and buffalo, Native American totem poles, which my new friend so helpfully pointed out are all examples of either animals, natural resources or cultures that have been endangered or totally wiped out by modern and contemporary culture.
How very ironic.
Hmmm aaanyway, have to go find some friends who are up for some party party! There isn't a snowball's chance in hell I'm turning in yet!

Just wonderful...

2009-05-20T15:00:00.009+01:00

Look, it's me! A student! Yarrr, finally decided to follow my own advice and ditch all things arts inclined, writing essays and reading books for hours is surprisingly not my cup of tea.
This time next year I will hopefully have completed my first year of Graphic Design. I have shaken my fear of all art based subjects. Yay!
Last weekend was also awesome. New people and a new crush. Being eighteen is immense, especially when someone is writing you limericks and making you giggle.

In other news, colette has been providing much entertainment art wise. Along with drooling over their massive collection of to-die-for clothes, they have a lovely and expansive archive of previous and current exhibitions of very talented and edgy-type artists.
Some of my favourites being;
Sølve Sundsbø...

and Mika Ninagawa...

Colette makes me swoon. Just wonderful.

The inside of my handbag #2

2009-05-12T18:45:00.002+01:00

Funny story. I was just about to go get my handbag to empty it and see what variety of crap I was carrying around for the last while when I realised that due to my waster lifestyle, I'm not even carrying one right now. That's right, my life is so simple and uneventful that I haven't even needed the stuff that I need when I actually have a job or a college to go to.

I'm not quite sure whether I find this freeing and satisfying or a little bit depressing. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are many out there who would just love the chance to live like I am now, a pleasurable mix of housework, playtime and wrecklessness, but I'm beginning to think some stability would fit in quite nicely there too. And some money. Is it possible that all play and no work makes Jack a depressing dickhead? I fear that indeed it is.

Girl Crush #1

2009-05-08T18:38:00.005+01:00

Ah girl crushes. Basically the women I want to be. They pretty much take up my life, inspiring me when I'm a little lost with decisions, ranging from college to fashion so I decided to post them up here for communal swooning and admiration.

First on the list is the Queen Fafinette herself. Toulousian graffiti artist and wife of the wonderful DJ Mehdi. She is responsible for my header and all things holding The Carmine Vault as their home address. Oh please, Fafi, can we be friends? I promise I'm not as creepy as I seem!

Photos: from all over.

Kuwaiiiiiii

2009-05-01T11:47:00.001+01:00

I can't tell you how much I squealed while watching this.

Booka Shade

2009-04-27T22:28:00.006+01:00

I was one of the many at the Booka Shade gig the other night in Tripod. They were pretty awesome, let it be said. Nothing like a cheesy pair of Germans banging out some good house. I'm finding it gas though, the security levels at these things. They practically strip searched us on the side of the street before we were anywhere near the frickin door, then when I got to the entrance they started tut tuting at my passport of all things.

'See, this simply isn't good enough'

'What isn't? It's my passport, the most official document I own to prove my identity.'

'Yes but you've only been eighteen since the eleventh of April.'

............

Yeah, I didn't get it either. I'm beginning to think bouncers got lost somewhere in the process of evolution, maybe that's why they're so ugly. Natural selection and all that.

the morning after the night before.....

2009-04-21T14:53:00.002+01:00

.... and what a night it was. The DJ played for nine solid hours while the rest of us party party partied. We're still cleaning up the peanuts.

Optimism will keep you going....

2009-04-09T15:56:00.001+01:00

...when everything around you seems to be crumbling apart in the most horrendous way. I had a fairly awful 7 days just pass me by, but jubilance is always found somewhere. I wish other people would cop the fuck on and just know this. Why, oh, why do some whack-jobs feel the need to unload every single problem on you in one sitting? Whatever happened to being brave and proud in shouldering your problems and not breaking down everytime someone didn't shower you with attention?
Needless to say my phone has been powered off for the rest of the day.
I'm going to, in some way, find loveliness in the rain outside, clean my house, enjoy the satisfaction and then get back to this....

and this...

..and in the mean time I'll be hoping that in the event of someone stumbling across my modest little blog, at least one smile will be cracked at the second picture. And the first one will be explained in my next post, it's only half done, and hopefully will look much, much, much, better in the end, seeing as I don't even own the thing.

DONE.

Yes...

2009-04-02T12:56:00.000+01:00

...I'm still drunk from last night and yes, I am an idiot.

Unce unce unce...

2009-04-01T12:05:00.003+01:00

...have you listened to the new Bloc Party album yet? It's awshum. They've gone super-electro this time around.
Really, I'm actually finding it difficult to get the head phones out of my frickin ears. It's that good.

Also see that there, it's the beginning of a gauge, I also put down a deposit for my tattoo yesterday. I'm starting to freak myself out a bit.
Before I know it I'll be joining a travelling freakshow and eating bats heads for the craic.

Yes, the self-mutilation, it stops here.

The inside of my handbag #1

2009-03-24T11:20:00.004Z

Apparently the contents of your handbag say a lot about you as a person. I have one too many lighters, like my lips to be soft, rob my friends of their watches and am getting a tattoo in a couple of weeks. I also travel on the bus and am old school, a pen and a piece of paper with a number scribbled on it being testament to that. Hmmmm.... Can't say I'm entirely sure what to make of this activity except that I need to grow up and get a new purse.

Alice's Adventure in Wonderland

2009-03-23T16:51:00.003Z

I found an old paperback copy of The Penguin Complete Lewis Carroll this morning, with a little note to yours truly on the first leaf. I think it was a gift from a poet friend of the mothers who I haven't seen in a very long time. Pretty cool though eh? I never actually read it, I think I must have been very young and found it too difficult. Also I don't think my parents were the type to read to us as children, which in it's own way is a good thing I suppose. Anyhow I'm reading it now and I like it just as much as I think I would have if I'd read it years ago.

However, it turns out Carroll wasn't a very amiable fellow, regarding adults anyway, and this I found out before I even got to the first chapter. Why in the world would anyone do that? It's a pity that people feel the need to crush those little illusions you have about really fantastic authors that you grew up reading. C.S. Lewis was a misogynist, and J.M. Barrie was also a bit of a weirdo, or so I read. Both Narnia and Peter Pan have been tainted for me thanks to people poking their noses in where they shouldn't. The next person who researches a famous author would want to be careful.

Feist. No. Likey.

Never will I read a know-it-all introduction again. Scholars, pfft.

ooooooh.....

2009-03-22T21:29:00.003Z

........a party dress is it? I love it. Urban Outfitters is just fabulous sometimes.
I shall be turning 18 soon, and me and two other cailins are having a session to celebrate. You'll recognise me as the girl in the shit-cool dress dancing to the shit-cool D.J., who, wait for it, played OXEGEN last year and is set to play that very same festival this summer! Oh yeah, this is gonna be CLASS.
Be there and be square.

I don't know why....

2009-03-12T14:17:00.000Z

...but leggings are beginning to appeal to me. Is this wrong?
I've always been a bit wary of them, I'm not a fan of this whole bad-taste, 1980s revival thing that's going on. I think it's the most disgusting idea to walk down a catwalk in years, however these married to the mob ones are kinda cool.
Saw a little girl in the post office with some kick-ass ones today, they were pink and silver with little cut-out stars. Coolest little girl I've seen, if I was five, I think we would have become friends.

Dearest Blog,

2009-03-11T13:59:00.004Z

Just finished working in the post office for the day. It's a nice place to be for some reason and you might not expect it. I'm sure people who work there day-in day-out have lost there love for it, but if you're only in there like me for a couple of days, it's enjoyable watching the people go about there business.
Anyone who thinks the Ireland of old is gone is wrong. They need to go stand in the post office for a while, it's quality. The banter going on between people and the gossip flying around the place...I think I'll be heading to the post office more often.
It's made me wish we were still in the era of letters. How nice would it be to receive a full blown letter? Nowadays a text or e-mail can be sent in a few seconds, a letter takes so much more effort, I've kept every personal letter I've ever received. One of the best times I can remember for sending letters was when I was in Irish College for three weeks two summers ago. There is nothing better than coming home to a letter from someone you're falling for. I still get tingly when I think about it now.
Also, check this out, Fafi is writing a comic... almost too good to be true...

I'm a Toy

2009-03-10T19:29:00.008Z

I mentioned before that I like graffiti but I neglected to mention that I dip my own hand in sometimes. This one here (please excuse the crappy photo) was my first venture in stickers and stenciling. Hepburn here has been my hero for as far back as I can remember so I felt I owed her something. I first stuck these around the place about one year ago and recently made a couple more for the craic. I've done a couple more since this one, some more people I really love, historical figures and the like, and also a few of my friends.

I don't spend all my time at it admittedly, it's a hobby I only give a go at every now and then, so I haven't progressed much or anything but it makes you feel good. I also haven't told a lot of people I actually am responsible for them.

Anyway, as I've said, I've been doing this around a year, and since then my eyes have been even more open to the graffiti adorning our streets. Some of the stuff you see around is seriously amazing. Also, it's great seeing more and more people getting involved in it and let me just tell you now, if I ever catch the little dopes going around spraying 'toy' all over the place, I will not be responsible for my actions. Little shits. Can't say I've been targeted or anything, but it still annoys me.

So anyway, I'll post some more of them another time. I'm kind of wanting to get into bigger things too, so we'll see how that goes.

In other news, I'm going away....
To where exactly I'm not sure yet, but it will be a European city of some sort with plenty of nightclubs, alcohol and wreckless debauchery. London, Paris and Prague are highest on the list so far...
Oh the fun we will have. Only thing is we have to wait until the summer, which isn't too bad really. I age too ya know, and the ould birthday is coming up soon which means plenty of moola to line my currently empty pockets.

A bientot mes amis!

Hum Na Num...

2009-03-06T22:05:00.006Z

...Da dum.

photo par la scamp

I'm a working girl again, feeding the economy, helping put foods in the mouths of the poor people bearing the brunt of the meltdown. Ironically enough, it's promoting one of the few surviving financial institutions left in the country. Yep, I'm one of those annoying bastards, who I myself feel like smacking everytime they try to stop me in the street and sell me something. Except right now I'm not on the street promoting, I'm in a post office. Promoting the financial institution that I'm not very successfully disguising right now.

See this puts me in a bit of a dilemma next Thursday. Or perhaps I'm reading too much into it. But anyway, there'll be people there collecting the dole right, and there's me pissing them off with gobshite about insurance from a bank. Hmm... I'm going to need to be very careful methinks, some of those ould ones are feisty.

Also I went out last night. Me and D had fun. Certainly looked that way while flicking through the pictures on my camera this morning. Limbo...D's leg. Horse racing...straddled bar stools. Yeaah.

Blackout Ireland

2009-03-04T18:31:00.004Z

Serious business. Go to this website and do what it says.
Basically, IRMA, the Irish Recorded Music Association, is looking to censor certain sites for Eircom customers.
Also if you don't think this important, I don't want any of you frogs hangin around anyway, go get boiled elsewhere. The Scamp. Does. Ethics. Yeeaah.

GaGa is stupid and so is LOVE

2009-03-02T15:54:00.004Z

I just read an article about Lady GaGa in the Style supplement of The Sunday Times. She's a dope, seriously. And what's even more annoying is the way these magazines try to make idols of these idiots.

''it's quite refreshing to meet a pop star who says things like, ''In this time of recession, people love this hair - it's so nostalgic!'' when demanding a James Dean quiff; or deadpanning, ''I don't get body anxiety - I don't eat,'' as she prances naked around the studio.''

Ruby Warrington should be ashamed of herself frankly. Cop on like. GaGa has the worst dress sense any of us has seen in a long time, and naming her as an overnight icon is just spurring on this bad taste, letting it grow into something worldwide.

Which brings me onto LOVE magazine, published by Conde Naste, the first of which came out this month. I should have known what I was in for when the the little subtitle was ''fashion and fame''. My goodness, where to start? Icons of our generation? Kelly Brook? Pixie Geldof? Georgia May Jagger? What?
LOVE is a joke, it's main aim is feeding the egos of the fame-hungry hipsters. Beth Ditto gracing the cover is proof of that, in what way exactly is she an icon of our generation? With one alright album from The Gossip a couple of years ago she's managed to sustain herself by being a fat lesbian. Ah yes, how unique you are Ditto.

Along with that many of the 'icons' that LOVE 'loves to love' are fashion models. Two features alone are dedicated to pictures of models, not even for the sake of telling a story or showcasing the talents of designers, just them. How sad is it that a magazine claiming to be at least partly about fashion, looks at the pretty face wearing the dress rather than the talent responsible for it?

I shall be sticking to Vogue from now on, at least when glorifying people, it's usually the talented that they're after. Along with that, I'm still reeling from last December. Swoon.

also...

2009-02-27T21:46:00.003Z

...I recently fell in love with these shoes and I want them. Now.

dogs...

2009-02-27T20:30:00.007Z

...are hilarious. I just saw two of my boy dogs fornicating in the back garden.
I was accused of being crude today. I believe not, I find crudeness is so unbecoming in a young lady.
I'm so booored right now. It's Friday, I wish I had thought to go shopping earlier than quarter to nine. Everyone is doing something, I mean everyone. Don't think of me as that much of a loser, even if I do.
Alas, Remi Gaillard has been keeping me entertained on this uneventful night, he is excellent.

The Excorcism of The Happy-Go-Lucky Scamp 2

2009-02-06T23:18:00.003Z

THAT FUCKER TRIED TO FUCKING EXORCISE ME FOR REAL...

No joke, I swear to God (irony, friends).

He made me place a hand on a pillow in front of him and then he put his hands beside it for a while.
The verdict: I'm an irritable asshole who has 100% toxic levels, with a bad stomach 'cause of all the crap I eat and all the contact with electronic devices is blocking up my chakras, thus banishing me from the path to enlightenment.

All I can say to that is he's lucky I'm a non-believer, or I would be severely offfended.

The Excorcism of The Happy-Go-Lucky Scamp

2009-02-06T22:10:00.006Z

My mother has some whack-job in the house casting out spirits, demons and all other manner of creepy make-believe shit, and this is the only room in the house that I can be in without him bursting in and exorcising my good self, hence a nice ould post on blogger. Honestly, people actually believe that stuff, I mean really believe in it. My mother is particularly nuts. You walk in the door of our house and find yourself confronted with three Buddhas, twenty angels and a Chinese dragon thrown in for good measure.
It's confusing if anything, especially when I get a smack for not saying the angelus before the RTE news every evening. I've asked her what the big idea is with the mixed up theology, but the only answer I get is an offer of reiki to clear my aura of all the badness which is obviously the reason for my 'acting in a negative way'.
It's no wonder I'm an atheist.
I don't know what his judgment is on the place yet, the spiritual fella that is, he's being fed cake in the sitting room by my mother, but I did hear her ask my brother if he felt the house felt lighter now.
Oh deary me. At least it's Friday, that means people are home and I can escape the fear being subject to a load of hocus pocus shit over the weekend.

Graffiti...

2009-02-05T22:28:00.008Z

...is one of my most favourite things in the world. I spotted these on a side street in Dublin yesterday while I was up there sticking it to the man at the students protest. The man being Batt O'Keefe. Some of the more original placard slogans included; 'Battman is Robin students', 'Fuck You Cowen' and 'My arms hurt'.

Global warming? What global warming?....

2009-01-07T21:04:00.004Z

....I'm frickin' freezing! A good day was spent scowling at customers every time they opened the door of the shop and left the cold in. I also found loads of ways to wrap myself around the little heater in a pretzel-like fashion.

I even resolved to stay inside this evening and refuse the many propositions that usually come my way of an evening time. Alas, I then realised all my friends are gone back to college after the Christmas break, or studying for the leaving cert. Yep, today was the day it hit me that I am all alone for the next couple of months. Old hobbies will be resurrected, and I'll be forced to become friends with my family.

You never know, I could discover, in my isolation, that I'm a gifted writer, painter, or just really good at reading and texting. Yeah, that's the extent of my hobbies.
Maybe I should take up photography and turn this into one of those pointless poser blogs, not that this blog actually has a point, but you know the ones I'm talking about. One photo of a girl (the blogger) flicking her hair is followed by text somewhere along the lines of ''i really wish there were more words that required the letter 'z'.''

Maybe not.

Another thing what i learned this week...

2009-01-06T23:31:00.002Z

....is that under your duvet is a really bad place to hide naggans of Jack Daniels and packets of Marlboro reds. I keep forgetting that I no longer have the freedom that I had in Dublin, and that those kind of items will get me into trouble down here. It all ended quite well though, this spell in the bad books. My dad asked me for a fag after it all simmered down.
In other news, I have a new found dislike for bouncers from Cork. Last Saturday night, the production of my fake I.D was met with a smug laugh, and even more laughter when I tried to protest that indeed it was my passport and that special U.V. light thingy must be wrong! It all ended well though with me sprawled on the couch of a friend of a friend saying, ''No..no..can't move, I'll get sick'', followed by a jaunty walk home for more of the aforementioned Jack Daniels. All in all a pretty good night, but I still haven't forgiven those mean bouncers for making me miss the gig to end all gigs.

Something what I learned this week...

2008-12-19T03:23:00.000Z

... Don't ever spend your rent money on drink, or clothes, or drink, or general faffing about. Your parents will find out, and despise you. I found that out the hard way, and let me tell you, it was hard. I'm now stuck to the confines of my mother's little shop of horrors for the next 6 months until I can escape to Dublin again. I didn't overspend that much, but I'm still up to my oxters in shit, and the worst thing is, it wasn't even worth it. I mean, I definitely could have lived without Vogue, or that pitcher of Fosters, or that Chinese. That's the thing, I can't even really remember what I spent the money on, which is another reason why I'm in so much trouble. They keep asking me what I actually spent my money on, and all I can do is shrug my shoulders and say 'ehh dunno really'. I think that they think I'm on drugs.

Oh well, a lesson well learned.

In other news, my dad asked me if I was pregnant today. I think he was calling me fat. I'm not by the way. Pregnant that is.

Note to self: buy dog biscuits

2008-12-15T14:28:00.000Z

Stupid sister has a new boyfriend. I wouldn't mind right, but as I'm writing this, they're in the sitting room making an awful racket. He's tickling her, she's squealing; all fun and games. As well as that, just two seconds ago, my sister enquired when i planned on returning to Dublin.

I dread to think what they'd be planning if I weren't around. Ew.

It's worse as due to my living in Dublin for a good part of the week, The Boyfriend has really wheedled his way into my spot. I feel like he's taken my seat and every time I come home my groove is shaping itself more and more to the contours of his arse. I can't tell you how shocked I was when I returned home after a couple of weeks spent in Dublin to find myself the centre of the family taking-of-piss, he being one of the main taking-of-pissers. Shocking.

I've seen this happen amongst our dogs. We have five rather big dogs, and also a small runt of a thing that I consider more of a rabbit. Anyway. Just recently, one of the larger dogs has found itself lowered in the pecking order. We had to keep him in the house for a while to let him recover properly from the injuries he sustained for being the nerd of the family.

Poor Mick the Dog and I have a lot in common. If I don't act soon, I fear I may end up in the dog-house with a rather bruised ego.